Scars, Stretchmarks, Cellulite, Oh WOW!

Ladies, do you remember the first time you looked at your body with the side-eye? You know that moment when you go to put on your favorite jeans and they feel a little tighter than you remembered? Or that time when you were in the department store trying on your size and that size starts acting brand new? Or that morning when you were just in your underwear and you casually walked by the mirror and did a double take? You know what I’m talking about. You’re thinking to yourself - "What the hell happened? Just yesterday, my butt was smoother than a cup of pudding and now it has the nerve to look more like a pot of grits!?” 

Typically, this is when we start to get down on ourselves or suddenly become motivated to hit the gym like tomorrow! Tomorrow comes and go and we’re like, “You know what? It ain’t that bad. I’ll be alright.” And guess what? You will be alright with your scars, stretch marks, and cellulite. I’d like to think it’s a sign of a life well lived. Now, don’t get it twisted. There is nothing wrong with exercising, eating right, and all that but embracing ourselves at all stages is so important to our health and our overall well-being. There’s a huge difference between changing a habit out of fear and changing a habit out of genuine love and compassion. Start with the love and then focus on the change because fear can truly sabotage any changes you make in your life. Your intention may hinder your attention. 

"Self-love doesn’t come in a certain size."

Before we begin to criticize ourselves or the next person for their so-called imperfections saying “Scars, Stretchmarks, Cellulite, Oh My,” flip the script and think “Scars, Stretchmarks, Cellulite, Oh Wow” and be amazed at the beauty of our human bodies and how much it changes over the years. Love the movements of your life that reside in your body. Self-love doesn’t come in a certain size. Believe it or not, it can fit everyone if we just decide to put it on and flaunt what our mamas gave us! 

Recently, I came across a video that truly takes this message home and I want to share it with you because self-love is so vital right now in this day and age and anyone who is spreading these great vibes deserve a shout out. Best-selling author Keisha Irvin posted a beautiful video about loving the skin you’re in so I highly encourage anyone who needs this reminder to watch below and embrace who you are right here right now! 

So whether you’re a size 2 or a size 22, please know that you are an amazing expression of all that is so own that and remember, God looks at you like…

via GIPHY

To see more videos from Keisha Irvin, click HERE and check out her best-selling books HERE.

A Personal Note About Mental Health

“...the demons that you’ve been dreaming up are angels under the pain...”

— James Fauntleroy

Sometimes, sunny days are the toughest for me. I let the sun rays peek through the blinds, may even crack the window and allow some fresh air to come in to my room. However, now and then, I am too depressed to be engulfed in its luminance. It’s strange, really. The sun is supposed to raise vibrations and here I am, feeling insecure around its presence. I snuggle in the bed longer. I step outside of my 4-wall confines only when it’s absolutely necessary. I would prefer no one to see me, to notice me, to look into my telling eyes. Essentially, I want no one to know the pain I am holding deep inside because I'd never want to burden anyone. Also, at times, there is no rhyme or reason behind my emotions. They just exist inside of me and there's no easy way to get rid of them. They just live and the most loving thing I can do is allow them to breathe in the moment.

I wish I could logically explain anxiety and depression in words for everyone to understand. I can’t. At least, not right now. I am in the middle of one of those days...one of those super quiet days when raw emotions speak loudest. It’s rough but I can handle it. I’ve been here before plenty of times and have pulled through. 

I will pull through. 

And you will too. 

Those of us who deal with mental illness are some of the most sensitive, beautiful human beings you can ever meet. I say this from a very humble place. We feel so boldly, so brilliantly that it’s hard for folks to handle - shit, it’s hard for us to handle. We are the bearers of the brokenness in this world and we hold the painful pieces in our hands delicately, hoping we don’t flounder them away into the abyss. Sadly, some of us do. And, we are reminded on how deeply those thoughts can go and pray that we are able to grasp the support that eludes us during those critical moments, trying our hardest to remember why we agreed to be here at this present time. We don’t know what 'normal' is and wonder if anyone truly upholds that title. Does it even exist? We don’t know because that’s not our experience. Nevertheless, if you think about it, our inner life is like a masterpiece with so many rich and muted colors swirling around in an abstract painting - I bet someone like Basquiat tried his hardest to express this in literal form. 

To anyone out there who is going through any kind of mental health issue, please know your life is one of the most touching pieces God has ever produced and the constant swings downward are just as magnificent as the pleasant swings upward. That movement back and forth brings us closer to the essence of humanity and solidifies a sense of empathy for all, consciously and subconsciously.  Whether you're swinging at an extreme speed or at a relatively steady pace, I pray that you please don’t stop swinging. Keep going. Keep digging your inner tunnel until you see light within and shine that little light as much as possible. The world needs it. We need you. Perhaps, one day the swing won't be pushed so hard and the motion will get to the point where we don't even realize we are swinging at all. What a day that would be. Until then, please remember...

You will pull through, my friend. 

And I will too. 

A Magical Story About My Granddad

When I was 10 years old, my granddad passed away. I've never had a super close connection to him, but I do remember noticing, even at a young age, that he had a huge presence, which was intimidating for my little shy self. He was very well known around my hometown, Philadelphia, for his activism in the 1960s and 70s. Also, he was pretty popular across the country for his social work. He was so well loved by the community that I vaguely remember Philadelphia's first poet laureate, Sonia Sanchez performing her signature spoken word at his funeral. Since then, I've thought about him sometimes, curious about his life and what he is up to on the other side. I've also talked to him while in prayer whenever a family problem occurred and I'd like to think he helped mend some brokenness in my extended family as a result. However, I never really knew if he was actually there for me until one magical night many years after his passing.

I was in my late twenties, going through the motions of life. On this particular night, I was extremely vulnerable and emotional, crying profusely and praying for a hug. After a long night, I went to bed and had a dream that I'll never forget.

my granddad :)

I was on a crowded bus with some people that I apparently knew but in real life, I didn't know at all. There were many conversations happening around me but I was quiet, looking around, trying to figure out where I was exactly. Soon after, I got off the bus, unsure if it was the right stop. I realized my friends weren't with me so it must've been the wrong one but I kept walking anyway down this winding road that led to the most beautiful pathway I've ever seen. It was kind of like a golden alleyway between two gorgeous buildings that were literally covered with flowers. The flowers were nothing like I've ever seen while on Earth and the colors were so vivid, even their hues were unnoticeable to my human self.  Once I walked down this short magical pathway, I ended up at a mall in the basement lobby area. It actually reminded me of an actual mall in Philly, The Liberty Place. When I opened the door, I was greeted by one of my older co-workers who I actually do know in this life. We made a little small talk and then in mid-conversation, I looked over to see my granddad.

He had on a long black trench coat and I believe he had on a matching top hat as well if I remember correctly. I wish I could fully articulate how I felt when I saw him. I guess the closest I could compare it to is when you are a kid and you think you are not getting any Christmas presents but then you come down on Christmas day and you see all the gifts you wanted for the holidays. It was like that times ten. My heart was filled with so much love and I was just so damn excited to see him after so many years. I went right back to my 10-year-old self and said "Granddad!!!" and immediately hugged him.

It was the warmest hug ever.

After our lovely embrace, he joked about how young he looked compared to the last time I saw him. I must admit - my granddad was looking good out here in these heavenly streets. He was slimmer, had darker hair and lost all his wrinkles from the last time I saw him, similar to the picture above. We both laughed at his funny joke and then suddenly, I woke up.

With my eyes barely open, my mind began to race with happy thoughts and I felt much better than I did the night before. I truly believe my granddad made a special visit to give me what I prayed for - a hug and I am so thankful for the love he showed when I needed it the most. So I am sharing this story to let you know that the power of prayer is real and you never know who could be listening to answer it for you.

Now, I am curious if any of you guys have had similar supernatural/spiritual experiences like mines. If so, please share! I love reading stories like these.

my sister & a sprig of rosemary: a funny story on the power of synchronicity

Have you ever planned a major meal and browsed through your local grocery store only to find out that a major ingredient is missing? Have you ever felt the heartbreak of such a tragic event when your entire menu seems to crumble into pieces even if you have all the other ingredients for everything else? You simply want to give up your chef’s hat and walk away in defeat but then, something miraculous happens and you know that God is on the look out for the cookout - literally.

Let me tell you the story about my sister and a sprig of rosemary. So this past weekend, my sister planned this elaborate meal for a belated Thanksgiving family celebration. Being the good sister I am, I met up with her the day before to help her prepare for the occasion, including grocery shopping. While going up and down the aisles, we both gathered the necessary items that were on our list with ease until something absolutely horrifying stopped us in our tracks -

There.

was.

no.

rosemary.

via GIPHY

We searched throughout the spice section in hopes to find any brand of rosemary but there was nada, nothing, zilch! I could see the anguish in my sister’s eyes and she told me that the chicken stock would not be the same without this key ingredient. After staring at the sparse section of seasonings, we eventually continued our shopping, a little more empty than we were when we arrived. There was a hole inside of us, especially my sister who was cooking the whole meal, that only that savory rosemary could fill.

To make ourselves feel somewhat better, we decided to put all the groceries away and go out to eat since cooking was out of the question at this point. Also, we love food a little too much. We went to a pretty fancy diner that really felt more like a cozy restaurant; and I immediately went towards the comfort food because the devastation was too much to bare without a warm dinner and a soothing drink. So my sister got her go-to dish - huevos rancheros. She was oddly in the mood for Mexican food. Hey, whatever makes you cope the best. For me, I got meatloaf, mashed potatoes and seasonal vegetables.

Now, this is when the hand of God was at work. My plate of food came out first and was placed right in front of me. My sister immediately noticed something magnificent at the center of my mashed potatoes -

A

sprig.

of.

rosemary.

via GIPHY

The way her eyes lit up, you would’ve thought she saw Mother Mary. Who knows? Perhaps, she had something to do with this incredible intervention from God. I mean really, what are the odds that a sprig of rosemary would be standing at attention in the middle of my mashed potatoes, like “Hey…you were looking for me”?

My sister quickly realized, more than ever before, the power of synchronicity and how awesome God can be during times of trouble. God can part the seas for a sprig of rosemary. God can put the thought in my head to get meatloaf (which I rarely get) in order to align everything just right for my sad sister. Her frown turned all the way up into a big smile and I turned into the best little sister ever by laughing at her excitement all the way home.

So let this story be a friendly reminder that when you are aligned with your purpose, God, the Universe, the All That Is, the Source will work with you to see it through, even if your purpose at the moment is cooking the best chicken stock that was hardly used.

no one has your life. no one ever will.

We oftentimes forget our magnificence because there are so many forces bombarding us with one ugly message - we are not enough. We are not pretty enough. We are not smart enough. We are not happy enough. We are not successful enough. We are not rich enough. And the list goes on and on and on in one endless loop if we decide to play that tape in our heads.

However, guess what?

We can change the tape.

We can play the one that says we are enough. We are the only ones expressing life in one specific way. No one else can claim our experiences. No one else can walk on the exact same path as us. Our uniqueness makes us enough because our unique qualities contrast and connect us.

We are enough. We always have been enough. Please remember that no one has your life and no one ever will and that alone, makes you truly special in this world.