A lot of times, I spend time within four walls - alone. I pace back and forth. I contemplate about what I could’ve done better. I ruminate on old thoughts that still feel brand new. I look at videos that pique my interest. I listen to music that speaks to my soul. And once in a blue moon, I pick up a book and read some inspiration.
At the end of long days, I typically look forward to this time when I can shut the world off for a second and just hear me, enjoy my oddities in peace. I can eat whatever I want, drink if the mood strikes me, dance if the body sways and stay silent if the spirit moves me. I can talk to myself about my emotions and have a much needed therapy session. I can wrestle with the many times I felt less than. I can judge my every movement, analyze every morsel of my mind, beat myself to oblivion, break my own heart and create an unknown masterpiece from it all.
When I create a new piece of art whether literal or metaphorical, I know that my time alone is not in vain and the messy gray area that I reside in is meant for something, someone, somewhere and that’s the one thing that brings peace because then I know that I was never alone, it was us all along.